Mademoiselle Blush

A new blog for a new chapter my darlings.


From North to South

As I write this, this very second becomes the past and the future ticks towards me at rapid pace. Yet in our minds memories stay as they sway our emotions and shape our being. A soft breeze blows in the balmy night as cicadas sing and bats cry; a candle flickers against the bare white walls.

From the moments of birth I was thrown into a chaotic existence of an old war still being waged. As egos fought within, they battled each other, at times triumphantly winning and destroying all in my wake. From one airport to another, one time zone to the next, north to south I wondered, trying to escape. Yet it followed me as I failed to see the lessons until they screamed at my face.
I haven’t written for a while now and my mind has been cluttered of ideas and inspirations, yet words have failed me as I tried to make any sense of them.

In troubled times life feels difficult, colours dull and the laughter of others burns you ears. I feel alone in the crowded halls, my footsteps echo. No matter how far you go you can never escape yourself. My attempts of destroying everything I have built strike my being viciously, as I try to make any excuse to leave, to start over, to escape. Yet despite my own attempts it seems the patterns of others abuse my essence and a tidal wave of flooding pain and negativity drown me.

Yet drowning is not the end, and to give up all hope would be weak. As pain in itself is not a strength, yet what you do with it is.

Truth is I am hurt and hurt people destroy… Yet the beauty of life is the constant glimmer of the torchlight to guide my way, as a I build a path of my own to shape my being.

Until Next Time my darlings.


As a soft wind blows, emotions flow and just like that life changes. Life grips us, at times strangles us, I have walked with a blind fold blinding me, getting pushed along and pulled by every whim and fleeting emotion.
We fight against ticking time, the doings of the old and the mistakes from the past.
I walk a fine line between light and dark, a line that is almost invisible to the naked eye.
There is no ugly without beauty, and beauty without ugly. The two coincide, feed upon each other, a different side to the same coin.
There is only one truth.

Toni-Yvonne xx

Until next time my darlings..

The Melody of Life

Soft sun kisses my cheek as a breeze whispers to my face, a vast mountain range scrolls in front of me. In the humid air cicadas sing and my soul hovers and waits, to see what the day will bring. Their melody of life collides with the song of birds, it seduces the air.

As thoughts sway my emotions and the tides of memories arise, there are so many things I want to say to you. About pain and tears, the smiles shared, the last memory I have stepping across cobblestone steps, ,about truth and lies, a love that is rich and ripens like good wine over time, or simply the beauty of life. Yet writing of the beauty of life would do it no justice, as there are no words to truly describe its essence, wonder and pure magnitude of its beauty. No, these things are only felt.

In my wake footprints lye, what remains of what has past and where I have been. The journey I travel and what I feel, the lyric of my essence. It slumbers in my heart, yet when it awakes consumes and engulfs my being.

“Candles flicker against the white walls, she parts her red lips as a smile enchants her face. In the dim light her dark eyes glimmer…”

Wanderlust lurks in me. It’s the trail of petals leading to my departure, the wind which whispers to my heart and face, promising of lessons and growth. I sigh as it strangles my life, in its beautiful grip. A journey is not simply getting from A to B in a physical sense, yet in a mental sense too. Until we understand the tides of our own emotions, we will not understand life itself.

•Coconut Ice-cream; when the warmer months arrive, I do nothing but crave for coconut ice-cream. I’m not too sure why or what entices me so much, yet coconut ice-cream seduces my mind and senses with its intoxicating aroma, flavour and texture.

• Sangria; with its rich colour, it lures your imagination. Bringing friends around a table to enjoy, among good food and music.

• Colour; it is the creator of much beauty and wonder. It can express such varied emotions and symbolism for the unknown.

•Silence; it is not until we feel the overwhelming surge of noise, mental and physical, that we can truly appreciate silence. Silence in its true being, the silence of the mind. To get there though, is a journey in itself and you needn’t even take a step.

•Eyes; the window to the soul as some say, their expression of sensuality and beauty, pain and sorrow.

Until Next time my Darlings..

Distant Lands

My clothes cling to my body in the blistering heat; music plays a tap drips, birds sing of life as a butterfly flutters next to a sea of flowers. Seconds pass, many days go by in the endless sky, yet memories stay and sway our emotions, as we are reminded how fragile we are.

As my heels tap against wooden floorboards, I am welcomed by a beautiful, nostalgic scent, of crystal clear waters and white sandy beaches. Clothes line one wall as their colours collide and contrast against the bare white canvas, on the other side a wall of mirrors showcases an array of alluring shoes and a divine range of accessories from bags to necklaces. The shop is an exotic get-a-way from the sweltering city streets of exhausted commuters.

If there are two things I crave for in summer that is coconut ice-cream and light dresses that can take me through balmy mornings, humid afternoons and steamy nights. Camilla can take care of the latter to a tee (I know how to and where to take care of the coconut ice-cream part)

With kaftans and harem pants, to maxis, minis, robes and playful playsuits, every cut is ‘made with love’. The parade of designs to choose from can be quite amazing and the time that must go into each is considerable. Now the colours really are a feast for the eye, a pure piece of art in the bustling city where grey can be a tyrant for some.

‘Labyrinth’ spring/summer 11/12 collection, invites us to an adventure in morocco, an exotic beach, maybe even a hike though the amazon to discover treasures. The beauty of this collection? It can take you wherever you want.

With prints and patterns that splash turquoise with Bengal Tigers, where sequins dazzle in teal, citrus and magenta, and vivid greens harmoniously live with daring oranges, Labyrinth is a collection to see (and fall for).

Camilla takes colours and prints to a new height of beauty, each piece promises an adventure like no other. Oh i’m so happy the warm weather is here, hello coconut ice-cream.

-You need not worry either; there is a stockist practically wherever you are. Yet the stores in Paddington and Mosman or the beach house in Bondi really is a must see when you are travelling to Sydney.

Until next time my darlings…

The wind whispers…

A soft breeze blows, engulfing the thick air, sun sets casting a vivid pink light across the deep blue sky. The thick air is warm and people scatter throughout the streets like ants, carrying out a function and reason unknown to them, simply being driven by instinct, ego and want. City lights sparkle and the buildings reach high, skimming the dark sky.

I wait for a bus at the crowded bus stop; people avoid eye contact as they pass by. Finally the bus arrives, it is cramped and all the seats are full, people stand uncomfortably in the isle. I look around, there is one seat free, a seat by a man, and he is homeless. I walk over and place myself beside him, people stair slightly alarmed. The smell of sweat and dirt consumed the small space, and I doubt he had showered in months. Yet as he gazed up at me, he himself slightly surprised by my choice, his eyes fixated upon mine. I felt at ease and felt comfortable with him, as if I had known him. Not a sound stirred on the long journey home and at last I reached my stop. The air hit me as I left the bus and the wind whispered to my face.

We are no better than someone else. Many people place titles on their standing in the world, their egos driving their existence. Money being the goal post between a rich man and another, despite the wealth of his mental and emotional life and despite the fulfilment he feels. Many people are like ants, their meaning unknown to them and simple wants and needs pulling them along the path of life.

The sky is now a sea of black ink, a full moon guides the path and the air now crisp. Starlight shimmers as streetlamps glimmer and a cat runs across the road.

♦ Fabrics; feather like cashmere, flowing silks, fabric is an indulgence of the senses.
♦ Handmade Chocolates; I need no excuse to enjoy chocolate, almost to lovely looking to eat, handmade chocolate from Chocolatiers is simply delicious.
♦ Lipstick; there is something so romantic the way lipstick kisses the lips, in rich red or rose, lipstick is a ladies best tool (despite her natural selection, from charm to wit)
♦ A good book; For me a book is not an escape, yet can be used as an awakening of the world, intelligence is always beautiful
♦ Lingerie; a little thing that will always remain on my lists. Lingerie is the epitome of feminine sensuality, beauty and is oh so personal.

Until next time my darlings…

p.s. My blog is currently under a makeover x

Rose Petal.

“Cold coffee sits beside me, a soft breeze blows through open windows, flirting with silk drapes. They sway gracefully in rhythm as birds sing of life, cars thunder past. Spring is here, a new season comes as another leaves, bare trees bloom.”

Nothing is at it seems, surface delusions smother reality. Inspiration is everywhere, yet, at times our own thoughts and mind cages us, our own negativity blinds us. I once wrote in a little diary many years ago, “Everything begins and ends at the exact right time and place”, and to this day I still stand by these words, the essence of this sentence. In my last post I wrote of appreciating life in its true state, and it’s through appreciation we learn to accept the changes of life and the detours it takes us.

I have seen cities sparkle like diamonds against black velvet skies, the sunrise over Europe and vast deserts that stretch across the Middle East. I know a life of no home, a life where all my belongings fit in a suitcase, this journey started many years ago. I have learnt a couples things; one of them being, no matter how far you travel, no matter where you escape to, until you beat your own demons, until you understand yourself, none of this life will make sense.

Until next time my darlings..

Into the looking glass..

I stare blankly into space, a small diary lies in front of me, empty and embroidered in lace. The dimly lit room is enchanted by music and the rich aroma of coffee seduces the air. Outside all is calm, a sky of black ink stretches far and a mosaic of stars give birth to light.

Life is long yet goes so fast and, at times, one finds themselves wishing away the hours as they creep by. I would love to write to you about how to truly appreciate life, yet to be honest I am not yet a master of that art and I like you, simply a student learning and growing from the teacher that is the universe.

Inevitably life will change, change is the only constant. We mourn the loss of time, nostalgically yearning for times that have been, regrettably dreaming of things that we should have seen. Through this process forgetting the now and forgetting how at that point way back then we probably dreamed for ‘other’ times. With memories flooding our emotions, it’s important to remember, you cannot bring these times back and the clock will continue ticking, if you didn’t do something there is a reason as to why and leave it at that.

To truly appreciate life is I feel one of the first steps to a fulfilling, balanced and creative life. As blossoms fall and streams flow, inspiration is everywhere. To see it, feel it and appreciate it though is the (at times) difficult part.

The room around me is a mess, and I do feel the want to clean and sort out the clutter which is slowly (but surely) engulfing my living space. I myself have been practicing more and more to appreciate everyday as it comes, I feel I had strayed from a path I set out on, though have found myself back on course and this fills me with inspiration.

“The beauty and charm of selfless love and service should not die away from the face of the earth. The world should know that a life of dedication is possible, that a life inspired by love and service to humanity is possible. Our compassion and acts of selflessness take us to the deeper truths. Detached,selfless action leads to liberation. Such action is not just work; it is karma yoga. ” — Mata Amritanandamayi

Until next time my darling..

Le Sac Des Filles

Rains pours down from cloud filled skies, as it threatens a storm cars thunder by. People rush past in the bustling city streets as the rain hits the windows as a tear does a cheek. I sip a tea whilst music seduces the room, is there anything more warming than watching a cold day go by while sipping tea? I think not.

Time ticks by so fast in the greying sky as one stumbles down the path of life, and words seem to have escaped me as i try and turn them into meaning. It is not as though I have lacke inspiration, yet I spent much time in experiencing these fleeting emotions than studying them and the whole process has been quite theraptic.


Heels tapped against stone steps as I walked into the icy streets on the search for inspiration. Now lately (despite a very, very, very…. did I say very? empty purse) I have beeen on the search for something perfect, a perfect colour. Now colour is such an intimate thing, i do realise my perfect may be your worst nightmare.

Colour enchants our imagination, and more than anything else, I feel colour can mean something very different to every person that sets their eyes upon it. As a paintbrush kisses a canvas, colour promises to captivate and pull in its audience. Just as in art, colour can add a touch of je ne sais quoi to an outfit, chic all black ensembles can be contradicted by a pair of alluring red stilettoes or a statement peice. It can clash and create a masterpiece, a palet for the eyes to feast upon, whether blocking bright bold colours or soft delicate tones, colour brings life.

So what is my perfect colour? A soft rose pink, a dusty tone, yet at times a vibrant rich red, though as a staple I seem to always drift back to rose petal pinks. Flowers in nature give birth to an array of pure and beautiful tones, whether you favour a statement yellow or a delicate cream, nature can provide.

Colour is an ever present ingredient to inspiration, yet it is not much that we see colour as a whole and not simply as an ingredient that create. As i have said before, surround yourself in that which inspires you, whether that be a wall of teal blue, or gorgeous shoes in lilac, colour creates a canvas to build upon.

• Mochas, I am a huge coffee addict, whether I make it at home or buy it at a cafe. I also spend many beautiful (not to mention amusing) afternoons sipping mochas with my lovelies
• Wild flower bouquets particularly lavender as they add such a delicate and oh so subtle femininity to any home, plus a relaxing arouma.
• Sequined dresses from Museum(more on this in a later installment!)
• Red lips, a classic need I say more?
• Spring is approaching here and despite the cold weather creeping back, I simply cannot wait for lazy spring time afternoons.
• Spending cozy nights and days home, relaxing, going for little walks to cafes, taking pleasure in the little things and simply being.
• Snuggly, beautiful woolen scarfs and jumpers from Valerie Tolosa . The scarfs are gorgeous and long, a perfect colour of cream, and oh so feminine, teamed with the black jumpers which are long enough to be a thigh skimming dress, j’adore.

Until next time my darlings…

Ce Jeu

Blossoms bloom under the soft spring sun, birds sing to their loves as a light breeze playfully flirts with my dress. People chatter in the cafe courtyard, cutlery clatters, the rich smell of coffee lingers in the air. A child plays by the fountain and squeals with delight, trees bathe on the sundrenched patio. Spring time is here, a new season, new memories and new delights. A fresh page.

Lately I have been rather mixed, clutter in thoughts. Words escaped me as i was left clueless one what to possibly write and say. Yet with the new season, I feel a fresh wave of inspiration in the beauty of spring.

Perfume can be a snapshot in time, it can carry a memory and can be the person you cherish. It lingers long after the lady has gone, an enchanring reminder a feminine seduction. I constantly search for new scents that bring emotion, that have a life of their own… Perfume can be a love affair, a spontanious fling or a marriage, your signature. The search of finding that perfect perfume, even for a fleeting emotion, can be so long, oh so personal and ever so enjoyable…

Jimmy choo: “its much like flowerbomb” interrupted the (delusional) man at the perfume counter as i eyed the bottle of jimmy choo. Oui, maybe in looks, ever so slightly, yet I love the flowerbomb bottle, so it couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. Yet in smell, I protest. Quite less floral in scent (more fruity) than flowrbomb, jimmy choo is sensual, discreet yet attention grabbing and a strongly feminine scent. Its boudoir ready packaging lured me in and the sweet yet spicy scent kept me staying for more.

Top notes; modern chypre fruity, with green top notes, tiger orchid, sweet toffee caramel and Indonesian patchouli.

‘Fan di’ Fendi; Firstly, the bottle is a statment of golden luxury, embellished with the Fendi logo and a stopper of black and gold (with fendi printed upon) it truly is what you would expect from a fashion house such as Fendi. What makes Fan di even better?… The gorgeous, seductive and floral scent that sleeps inside. It’s staying power is quite effective, as I have been wearing it since this morning (it is now almost 6pm) and the scent still flutters around me. Sopisticated and elegant, yet it plays to the most girlish of fantasies.

Top notes; Pear, blackcurrant, Calabrian mandarin, pink pepper from Reunion, rose from Damascus, yellow jasmine, soft leather accents and Indonesian patchouli.

‘Daisy Eau so fresh’ Marc Jacobs; With a whimsical lid of daisies and a tall, elegant bottle and a beautiful campaign. Daisy eau so fresh is my ultimate boudoir decoration. Whilst the scent is gorgeous, floral (obviously) and feminine its more so the bottle that stands out to me. Despite the lovely scent, which is truly lovely, it doesnt wonder to far from the original. Laid back and feminine, it is easy to love, with a stunning bottle, j’adore.

Top notes; grapefruit, green notes, raspberry and pear; middle notes are jasmine, rose, violet, litchi and apple blossom; base notes are musk, virginia cedar and plum.

A short yet sweet post, for a beautiful lazy spring day, spent sipping coffee with a ticking mind.
Listening to: Feeling Good, Michael buble. (New idea, every post I will put the song I am currently listening to)

Until next time my darlings.